That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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