Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
