so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
