I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
