summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
