They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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