Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Found the puke drawer
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
