By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
