its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
