just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is wine microwaveable?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
