I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize