somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
