Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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(571): View more from Virginia

there were more penises there than on chat roulette

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(817): View more from Texas

She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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(518): View more from New York

Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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(785): View more from Kansas

God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks

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(210): View more from Texas

I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO

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