apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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