the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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