dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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