hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
