Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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