we're blogging at a bar
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
