im drinking this country out of the recession.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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