I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
