I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
