i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
