I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
