To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
