Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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