In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
