he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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