"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
