; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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