I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we made out on top of his cat.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
