idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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