Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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