you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
