the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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