everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
