Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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