VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
