He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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