Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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