I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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