im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
