I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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