But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
These tits shall not be calmed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
