apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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