You're my little dorito
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
