so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
