...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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