Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
