I want to have your abortion
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize