Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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