Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize