Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
