I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize