Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
