I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
