It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize