so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
