Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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