The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
