Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just pee around me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
