I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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