i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
