I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
