If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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