so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
