Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
