...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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