his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
