and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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