But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
