did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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