i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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