shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
