its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize